“We haven’t lived together since April, but he still doesn’t seem to understand. If he wants to see our son, he has to talk to me beforehand. He can’t just show up whenever.”
“Of course I’m not paying the rent. He hasn’t fixed the broken electric box. He keeps saying he will, but he doesn’t. Let him try and evict me. Once an inspector comes in here, he’ll be the one in trouble.”
“Everyone on our street was nice and quiet until they moved in. At 3:00 a.m., they’re out front yelling. I had to hit him to shut him up.”
These are the kinds of stories that start mediations at Community Mediation Upper Shore (CMUS). Trained by Community Mediation Maryland, CMUS mediators — all volunteers — listen carefully to each participant. The frustrated father responds that his wife will never agree to a date and time when he can see his son. The landlord says his renter damaged the electric box. And the noisy neighbors complain that their neighbors are throwing trash on their front lawn.
Serving Cecil, Kent and Queen Anne’s counties, CMUS provides free mediation services to anyone who is seeking to resolve a dispute, no matter what the origins of the argument may be. Although about half of CMUS cases are referred by a State’s Attorney’s Office, other cases come by word-of-mouth.
Once both people agree to talk, CMUS staff find a convenient time and place for mediators and participants to meet. Mediators listen until everyone has finished saying everything on their minds; then they guide participants through a careful process designed to let participants find their own resolution. Mediators remain impartial; they do not judge or suggest ways the conflict should be resolved. If participants reach an agreement, mediators write it down and have each participant sign it.
Over 79% of CMUS mediation participants reach an agreement. In the case of court-ordered mediations, the written agreement is submitted directly to the court and generally forms the basis for the court’s decision. But even without reaching a written agreement, mediation can offer a breakthrough for some.
“Even if they don’t come up with an agreement, they often will turn to you and say: “Wow this is the first time we’ve had a conversation without stomping off or belting each other!” says Penni Doyle, Executive Director of CMUS.
Tucked away in a small office across from the Courthouse in Chestertown, CMUS offers mediation sessions throughout the three- county area. Local businesses and community centers donate space close to where participants live. About 45% of mediations take place outside of regular working hours to accommodate participants’ schedules. Mediators, who are required to take a minimum of 50 hours of basic mediation training, can come from all age groups and all walks of life.
“We’ve got some kids in college, who have been trained, through retired people, who have been professionals, to people who have a GED,” says Doyle.
The service offers mediators personal satisfaction, too.
“It is exhilarating,” says Doyle, to see you’re helping people make positive change.
Although primarily funded by Maryland Alternative Conflict Resolution Office (MACRO), monetary or in-kind donations are gratefully accepted. Currently, CMUS is looking for donated storage space.
CMUS can be reached at info@cmusmediation.org or by phone 410-810-9188.
Penni W. Doyle, Executive Director
Community Mediation Upper Shore, Inc.
410.810.9188
United Way member; CFC #66901
I have personal experience with this organization and they are such a positive asset to the community. I cannot speak highly enough of the fine work these people do.
I am glad the Chestertown Spy highlighted these unsung heroes.
If you have a dispute, or feel the need to air your grievances in an environment that facilitates productive discussion, give them a call!
(Just to be clear, I am not affiliated with this organization – just a very satisfied customer!)